i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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