Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize