I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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