Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
