You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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