I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
