Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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