Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
