I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
