Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
