What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
