worst night to have a conscience
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
