you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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