So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
