wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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