He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
