U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
