so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
