Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
