What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
