You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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