People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
