he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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