yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
