I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
