Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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