One girl and one boy is just not enough.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
