I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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