I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
