I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
