he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
and you fell through a lawn chair
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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