Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
