Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
