id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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