Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

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(904): View more from Florida

So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?

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(408): View more from California

He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?

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(207): View more from Maine

she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.

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(432): View more from Texas

Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year

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(517): View more from Michigan

are you drinking tonight?

(616): View more from Michigan

I have an exam tomorrow

(616): View more from Michigan

so yes.

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