so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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