Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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