i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize