with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
