This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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