Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
