You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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