lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
