A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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