Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
