with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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