All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I want a musical about memes.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
