LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
