Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
