I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
