he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize