Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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