Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
