I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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