There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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