3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
