i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
