just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
