69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
