AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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