What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
