I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
