I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
